Apple Noir

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Peel and slice one apple. Call the sheriff. Tell him you know who killed Laura Palmer.

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Recount the dream as you enjoy with nuts.


Oatmeal Raisin Cookies

I heard a rumor that someone needed a cookie.  These soft and cakey babies are just what the doctor ordered.

Set your old tired oven to… er… um… “on.”

Select a bowl for mixing and start with about a cup of quick cook oatmeal.

Add about a third of a cup of flour.

Then a spoon of Exsqueeze me? Baking powder? and a monster’s pinch of salt.

Shake that cinnamon over your mix while singing “Cinnaman! Where you gonna run too?”

Continue “Well I run to the rock” as you mix it up, this time with feeling! “POWER!”

Add some Bana-na-na-na Na-naaa-na-na.  Mash it with a fork.

Stick a pair of huevos in it…

…And a meager squirt of agave nectar.

Mix it all up and add some raisins and pecan pieces.

Transfer to a baking sheet via spoon.

Bake for about 7 minutes.  These don’t take long at all,  so don’t wander off or you will be sad.

Whoever told you cookies had to cool is a curmudgeon.  Immediately grab one and toss it back and forth in your fingers while shrieking “ooo, hot, hot.”

Serve with milk only to people who are allowed to have raisins.  Sorry Freddie.

Twitter What?!?!

Yes, you heard me right,  lonely can of beans… I’m on the Twitter.

Purple Cole Slaw

We visited Albie’s parents this weekend and they gifted us this lovely purple cabbage.

Begin by slicing some of the cabbage in thin strips.  Pull apart the layers with your hands and place in a large bowl.

I happened to have a nubbin of green cabbage in the fridge so, I chopped that up as well.  It serves as a nice accent cabbage.

Then a few carrots, peeled and cut into sticks comma match.

Throw all that in a suitable receptacle.

Mingle the cabbages and carrots with your fingers.  Then mince up a little garlic and ginger.

Toss it in.

Add generous splashings of soy sauce, sesame oil and lemon juice.

Toss well,  sprinkle with sesame seeds and black pepper, toss some more.

You can eat it now…

…Or chill for extra deliciousness.

It’s outta this world!

Baked Tofu with Cilantro Basil Pesto

I used to buy tofu  similar to this at whole foods until I realized I could make it myself better (and cheaper, shhh.)

Preheat your oven to about 350. Gently press the excess water from a brick of tofu with a paper towel or two.

Cut into cubes.

Lightly grease a baking sheet and arrange your cubes. Put in the oven for about fifteen minutes.

While that’s baking, ready some basil…

and some cilantro.

A food processor is not necessary.  You can chop the ingredients and call it rustic. Your guests will be impressed by the word rustic.  However, I happen to have this tiny food processor that Albie bought for me at Walgreen’s for 10 dollars.  It’s been good to me.

Put in some garlic and ginger.

Give it a couple pulses.  Then add some olive oil and stuff it with the basil and cilantro.

Give that several lengthy go rounds.  Maybe add a little more olive oil.  Then squeeze in some lime juice and a shake of salt and pepper. Pulse some more.

Check on your tofu.  They should be a little brown. Remove from the oven and flip each cube, prehaps a spatula is called for here.

Put back in the oven for another fifteen minutes or more if you like them very chewy.

Put your tofu in a bowl with the pesto.

Stir it up. This can be served immediately or covered and chilled.  The longer the tofu marinades, the more deliciousness it will acquire.

I like it with couscous

or rice.

Carrot Rice

How ’bout that eclipse on Sunday.  We had a crappy day (see previous post.)  Hope y’all are doing better.  Here’s some stupid carrot thing.  (It’s actually good, I’m just in a mood.)

Begin by peeking in the cupboard. Spy some rice.

Put the rice on to cook.

When the rice is about ready, prepare the carrots.  Start by peeling.

Discard the peels and sing: “God is Grate-r!”

Heat some oil in a pan.  I like olive oil.

When the oil gets hot, throw in some mustard seeds.

…wait for it…  …wait for it…  In a few moments the mustard seeds will begin to pop.  Stir them around and throw in a handful of cashews.  These cashews are raw.

Toss the cashews around in the oil for about a minute.  Let them brown a little.

Throw in the carrots.

Stir it up and add a handful of raisins.

Stir some more and turn off the heat.  Select a suitable bowl for mixing and put the rice in it.

Add the carrot mixture.

Guess the next step, get a prize.  (Prize valued at knowing you’re not a moron.)

This dish is delicious as a side, especially to Albie’s Masala Tofu and greenbeans.

But I think it is really best served cold, straight from the refrigerator, in the middle of the night, possibly while nude.

Make sure no one is watching.

Goodbye Joshuu

Dear Nomnoms,

It is with deep sadness that I must inform you that Joshuu (aka compost cat) has passed.  She was wonderfully strange and strangely wonderful.  We miss her very much.  Goodbye sweet Joshuu.